I’m Okay Now

I’m Okay Now

I don’t usually like to put the personal aspects of my life out in the open for people to speculate on.  I prefer to keep certain things about myself private and only share with a select few friends.  However, I’ve been noticing things about myself recently.  Up until this past November I was in a nearly three year long relationship, I mentioned in an earlier post that it ended pretty badly.  At the time I did not see how I could possibly ever be okay again.  This boy had been such a huge part of my life for so long.  I’d spent all this time letting him love me and loving him that I did not remember how to love myself.

I went to a very bad place both mentally and emotionally for quite some time.  To be perfectly honest during the last five months of the relationship I was already partially in that bad place.  Somehow it got worse once it actually ended, even though it was a long time coming.  I tried so hard to get him to stay with me, that in and of itself was damaging.  I let him walk all over me all in an attempt to make him happy.  I didn’t value myself, I didn’t think I was worth anything without him.  It took several friends, many months and removing him from every aspect of my life for me to get to the point I am at now.   Continue reading “I’m Okay Now”

This is My Art

This is My Art

“Never apologize for your art.” Someone once said this to me after I read some poetry that I had attempted to write.  I’ll be honest, it was not very good, so naturally I apologized for the poor quality.  It was a complete stranger that said it which made it all the more powerful.  Since then I have been doing my best to take ownership of my writing.  Because, it is my art, it is how I express myself, and without it I would be lost.

One of my best friends recently told me: “The world needs your words.”  He has been extremely supportive of my writing, almost everyone has.  From friends to family to complete strangers.  So why is it I have such a hard time supporting my own writing?  I have had so much encouragement, both with my blog and with my novel writing.  Why can’t I see it as more than just a thing I do?  Maybe if I believed in myself a little more I would put more effort in and finally finish the book I’ve been working on for almost three years. Continue reading “This is My Art”